| Deborah Cole is a senior management consultant who specializes in business transformation, strategic planning and execution and organizational change. Deborah gracefully parses symptoms down to their core elements, identifies the systemic issues and mitigating solutions all the while simultaneously moving the organization throughout he change process. She has spent time with both Big 4 firms and at boutiques.
When Deborah isn't working, she is active in the mental health community, serving as a mentor mom for women who are just learning about dealing with a child with mental illness. She also on the Associate Board at SMU's Cox School of Business, serving as a mentor to MBA students. In addition, she serves on the Board of Directors for Cleaning for a Reason, a 501C3 charity that provides free maid services to women with cancer.
Deborah and her husband, Hunter, have a combined five children: Taylor, Matt, T-Bird, Lauren and Shannon. They also share their Dallas home with four dogs and two cats. When they aren't working or tending to the needs of their household, they love to cook and garden.
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." Plato
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 Deborah Cole
Insane Asylum Mom
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I just found out I am “in transition.” The kiddos (and my husband) are freaking out. Change is hard and we have LOTS of bills. I am a strategy/organizational change/business transformation consultant. I have been helping companies with strategic planning, strategy executions, business transformation and change management for more years than I can remember and I am really good at what I do. I joined an IT consulting firm a couple of years ago. They wooed me away from another company where I was running the business and technology consulting practice. Everything was fine except the firm decided that a strategy practice was premature. Actually, I did the analysis and determined that it was in the company’s best interest for the next couple of years to stabilize the rapid growth and reach critical mass in the new offices through the more traditional custom app development work. So, I resigned. Yes, I held the nail to my own coffin.
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Maintaining Stability Amidst Instability
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Deborah Cole
Insane Asylum Mom
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One of the main challenges with running my own personal insane asylum is maintaining Zen – my Zen and the household Zen. I have 4 kiddos with mental health issues, 3 of which are still at home. Yeah, I know – what was I thinking? I am asked frequently, “How do you do it?” Well, the short answer is that I don’t have a choice. The longer answer is that I look for sources of peace and calm wherever I can. And, no, that doesn’t mean chardonnay.
When someone starts spinning, it is crucial that everyone else maintains a calm. Calm begets calm. Mania feeds mania. So, sometimes I have to give myself a “time out”. Literally, I excuse myself and go into my sun porch and do deep breathing exercises and try to remind myself of some thing of beauty or other natural miracle. I don’t rejoin the group until I am calm. The risk of my anger or frustration taking an already manic kiddo to outerspace or throwing the rest of the household into chaos far out-weights the risk of any harm that might come to the household or themselves during my absence.
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Residential Treatment: A Deal with the Devil or Salvation?
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Deborah Cole
Insane Asylum Mom
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My husband and I have made the very painful decision to put three of our kiddos in residential treatment 6 times. Honestly, it is one of the hardest decisions a parent has to make. It isn’t a matter of “sending them away” or pushing the parenting responsibilities onto someone else. It is a matter of life and death. This is why parents make the decision: they want to keep their child alive. The challenge is that hundreds of thousands of dollars later, you can still be second-guessing your decision.
I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but it’s true.
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Deborah Cole
Insane Asylum Mom
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What is more important: Nature or Nurture? I know that genetics play a huge role in the likelihood of a child being or growing up to discover mental illness. Back when I was selecting a husband, I never thought about what his family history would do when combined with my family history -- well, beyond the blonde/brunette, green/blue/brown speculations that is. I knew my children would be brilliant. I guessed, correctly, that one would be blonde haired/blue-eyed and the other would be a brown-eyed brunette. What I didn't even think about was that both of my boys would be suffer from mental illness.
I have asked my husband if he even knew the girls' mother was bi-polar. He didn't until after they were married. Would we exchange our kiddos? Absolutely not! But, that being said, we are advising our children NOT to have children of their own as the odds are stack against them.
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Should I call the police or wait until they arrive?
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Deborah Cole
Insane Asylum Mom
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My bankcard was stolen last week. I reported the crime, cancelled the card and moaned that the thief had bought flowers, Godiva chocolates and expensive gifts. The bank quickly reimbursed me for the almost $700 worth of charges, but I knew that I would have issues with the vendors and my credit.
We then received a call from the father of one of my daughter Shannon's friends. Seems Shannon had sent her friend many gifts this past week including chocolates and flowers. Shannon copied down my bankcard number. She knew our billing address and easily made the purchases.
Naturally, we confronted Shannon. The problem with a child without empathy is that she doesn't care about anything. She denied everything, despite the evidence piled in front of her. Then she finally admitted it.
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